When my first child was born, he spent a week in the intermediate-level NICU as a result of aspiration pneumonia. He got stuck in the birth canal and inhaled meconium. When he finally came out, his head was swollen and mushy from all the suction they used to get him out. And – he was struggling to breathe. Seven days later, his bilirubin was low enough to take him home.
When we got pregnant again, I thought to myself, “oh, this one will be easy – we’ve seen the worst already.” Famous last words.
The pregnancy didn’t feel quite right from the beginning – I was barely nauseous and continued to have the “old blood” discharge. More concerning were the ‘crampy’ feelings that took me by surprise more than i care to admit. I whined all this to my doctor – and he said all of that should be happening (really), nothing to worry about.
I went to the ER with bright red blood at 23 weeks – the nurses looked at me and sent me home with a bullshit explanation of broken blood vessels around my cervix. They told me, “you can make this into something it isn’t but there is nothing wrong with you or the baby”.
Six days later I was passing blood clots. Back in the ER – the shit hits the fan. I am dilated and leaking amniotic fluid. Well, I guess I’m not an over-dramatic pregnant lady after all.
The next 24 hours are a blur of calls to my parents to care for my then 2 year old son, tears, and an ambulance ride to the county hospital – don’t ask me how I ended up at the teaching hospital – I don’t think anyone asked me where I wanted to go. Also made a call to my real estate agent because we were going close on our new house in six days.
I was examined at least twice, and they told me I would probably have the baby that day. I knew it was way too soon, I was only 24 weeks along and had rescheduled my ob/gyn appointment because of a work conflict.
I spend the first night in the hospital in the ‘labor and delivery’ ward. This is a VERY NOT FUN place to be – the nurses are all rude as hell, the bed is so uncomfortable and the monitor that is telling me babygirl is still alive keeps alarming because she is so small, when she moves, the monitor loses track of her.
We get a visit from the NICU attending – they don’t bring good news. They are prepared to care for her – but the potential outcomes are grim. Brain damage, lung immaturity, Cerebral Palsy, blindness and a handful of other heartbreaking possibilities. My husband and I cry and try to comprehend what is happening.
